Empathy is the ability to identify with and the vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another person. Empathy is the capacity to understand and respond to the other's experiences.

This has had untold benefits in my persuasion for years and now I'm sharing it with you.

Here's an exercise to really help you get into the affluent mindset of your clients...

It's all about understanding and responding to their experiences. You may have heard of another powerful technique like this where you metaphorically 'jump' into them. Here, we are instead going to experience them.

And when you do this, you build up in your prospects and clients a huge amount of trust. Rapport is right around the corner.

By employing this technique, you'll be able to naturally understand and gain deep rapport with someone you don't know very well.

You will need a role play partner for this one.

It's this simple: Ask your role play partner to think of something. A book. A friend. An experience. A news story. Whatever. This thought will be called 'A'. As they think this thought, really notice their physicality. What does their body look like? How is their posture? Notice their breathing and their muscle tension. What kind of gestures are going along with this thought? As they think of 'A', you'll take a mental snapshot of them. This is how they represent 'A'.

Break this state by having them stand up, walk around briefly, and name three things that they can see in the room. . . a coffee cup, photograph, bookshelf. . .etc. This reverts them back to their normal state.

Next, have them think of something different from 'A'. Call this 'B'. It doesn't have to be the opposite, but just something completely different.

[NOTE: When you first do this exercise thinking of the opposite may make it easier, but I encourage you to develop your skills and not use something opposite once you've got the hang of it.]

Have them break this state.

This is the fun part. Have them think either 'A' or 'B' without telling you which one they're choosing. Which one are they thinking about? You need to figure this out just by looking at them. Which snapshot are you viewing?

Switch roles after a few tries and let them experience what you're thinking. This exercise helps you really know the people you're dealing with.

Of course you're not going to practice this and role play with your prospects. This is an exercise to fine-tune your observation skills and should be done with friends or co-workers.

After a while, you will begin to recognize the smallest state changes in others as you converse with them. When they speak about certain topics, give you certain answers, you will actually experience them and they will feel it too.

The feelings this will elicit in your prospect and client might not be easily pinpointed, but they will feel a real connection to you.

What's the point? It's just another way to gain fast and powerful rapport at the same time putting your prospect into a state where they are feeling understood.

You can also use this to determine if someone's lying to you.

If someone explains that their finances are "perfect" but they are slouched or some other physical clue tells you they're being incongruous, this is really a dead giveaway that they don't have an ideal financial picture.

These and other persuasion strategies can be used to help your prospect open up, feel that sense of trust and rapport, and get to the heart of issues so that you can become the answer to their problems if the situation warrants.

Kenrick Cleveland teaches techniques to earn the business of affluent prospects using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion techniques.

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